A class of children from a school for the blind, are by the sea side playing with a football with a bell on it, so they can hear where it is. The teacher pops off for a quiet pint. Shortly someone comes running in shouting "quick, the kids are kicking hell out of the Morris dancer!".
A man goes in to a pub and says "Do you serve Morris dancers?" "Oh yes" says the landlord. "Good" says the man. "I'll have a packet of crisps, and a Morris dancer for my dog".
An Englishman, Irishman, Welshman, Scotsman were captured while fighting in a far-off foreign land, and the leader of the captors said: we're going to line you up in front of a firing squad and shoot you all in turn. But first, you each can make a final wish.
The Englishman says: I'd like to hear God Save The Queen just one more time to remind me of the auld country, played by the London All Boys Choir. With Morris Dancers Dancing to the tune.
The Irishman says: I'd like to hear Danny Boy just one more time to remind me of the auld country, sung in the style of Daniel O'Donnell, with Riverdance dancers skipping gaily to the tune.
The Welshman says: I'd like to hear Men Of Harlech just one more time to remind me of the auld country, sung as if by the Aberavon Male Voice Choir.
The Scotsman says: I'd like to be shot first.
Why do Morris dancers wear bells? So they can annoy blind people as well
If you drop an accordion, a set of bagpipes and a viola off a 20-story building, which one lands first?
What's the difference between an submachine gun and an accordion?
The gun stops after 20 rounds
What's a Morris stick good for?
Kindling for an accordion fire.
What do you call a group of topless female accordian players?
Ladies in Pain
Q: How can you tell if it's a folksinger at the door?
A: He can't find his key, and he doesn't know when to come in.