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Morris dancers get up especially early on May Day dawn just to annoy the Druids and Pagans
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The difference between an onion and accordion?
People cry when they chop up onions.
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How do you make two accordionists play in time?
Shoot one of them.
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What's the difference between an accordion and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off before you jump up and down on a trampoline.
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What is the definition of a gentleman?
Somebody who knows how to play the accordion, but doesn't.
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What is the range of an accordion?
Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!
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What is the difference between an accordion player and a terrorist?
Terrorists have sympathisers.
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What is the definition of perfect pitch?
Closing your eyes, turning your back and throwing an accordion into the bin without touching the sides.
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Morris dancers are able to strike fear into the hearts of their audience with their cry of “For the next dance we need a volunteer!”
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Question - What is good for your soul but not your soles? - Answer - Morris dancing!
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"all dance (with the obvious exception of Morris dancing) can be sexy".
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Sir Arnold Bax's maxim? "You should make a point of trying everything once - except incest and Morris dancing."
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Did you hear about the bus load of Morris Dancers that was hijacked by terrorists?
The terrorists threatened to release one every hour until all their demands were met.
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What do you do if you miss the Morris dancers?
Reload.
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